Home Again

February 22

Aaron stayed with Jared and I drove home at three in the morning. I figured I would go toSacrament meeting and head back up to the hospital. I climbed unto Kristina’s bed, so I wouldn’t wake up Dan. Jared had been staying in Kristina room before we had gone back to the hospital. When I woke up I found two of the shots Jared was suppose to take to thin his blood. I had told the doctors he wasn’t taking his medication, but I thought he had taken all five of the blood thinning shots. Some of the pills he wouldn’t take were also to thin blood. I had begged him, but he said he knew his body. I realized not taking the blood thinners, may have been why Jared

got the life threatening blood clot on his brain.  I lay in bed terrified that I wouldn’t be able to get him to take his medication, and he’d die. I had a melt down. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt like a failure as a mother. I sent Catherine a text expressing how depressed I was. She called me saying, “What is going on? You’ve had a difficult month. It’s normal to have a melt down. All of us feel like we aren’t good mothers sometimes”. She tried to assure me that I was a good mother. I got dressed and went to the hospital, knowing I had to tell the doctors, for his own health. That afternoon Dr. Petersen, the head doctor, came in to see how Jared was doing. I told him that Jared had not taken two of his shots. Jared was so angry with me. He said, “Next time tell me first!” I said, “I will if you take 

your medication. If you don’t, I will tell your doctors”. Jared finally realized every pills is important!” Jared couldn’t wait to go home. He lay in bed in a button up shirt, just waiting to go home. Jared didn’t like taking medication, but the pain was so intense he gladly took the medication that the doctors ordered to control the pain. It had been so difficult watching Jared in so much pain. The pain was continuous. It was the most difficult time we had. When my sister came to visit I had to leave the room, so Jared would not see me cry. She listened while I cried.

A couple of hours later Stacie called. I was a little surprised because it was earlier then she usually calls. Stacie is another one of my hero’s. Stacie is my stepdaughter in law. Stacie is an amazing wife, mother, and friend. Stacie has six beautiful children. Her twins are just a year and a half old. While mothering her children she has been working toward a Masters in Psychology. She is just finishing her internship. I respect and admire her a great deal. She has called me several times when I was down, and just needed to talk. This was one of those times. When I told her I was so glad she called, because I really needed to talk. Stacie laughed and said that Heavenly Father had shut down her works whole computer system so she could call me early. We laughed as I shared with her my melt down the day before. She told me she had also had a melt down that day also. I told her I was surprised that she had a melt down, because she is so strong! We each laughed about how we dealt with it, and what we ate after. She helped me understand that it OK to have meltdowns. No one can be strong all the time.

 She said we are a lot alike, and that’s why we had such a great friendship.  Each of us needs to remember that it’s O.K. to have meltdowns. We also need to turn to people that help us through those difficult times? When we finish having our melt down we need to learn that it’s O.K. Then we can be strong again!

Monday the pain became bearable for Jared. Tuesday we got the go ahead to go home.

On Wednesday, February 26, Ginger wrote on Facebook, “We are home again! The doctors say that blood clot headaches are the most painful. I believe it! I have watched Jared go through spinal taps, and painful bone marrow biopsies without a complaint. However this headache brought him to his knees, it was incredibly painful. The blood thinners must be doing their job, because they were able to get Jared’s headache to the point that the pain pills are now working. The doctors think that his seizure may have been caused by the blood clot in his brain. Because of this, he will stay on seizure medication for at least six months. This is a great challenge for Jared. Before Jared got sick, he hardly ever took any medication. This is great, because now his medication works really well. The hard part is, he hates taking medication, and yet he will die if he doesn’t take all of it. For example, today Jared will take 30 pills, and two painful shots in his stomach.

For those of us that have good health, we should remember to thank our Heavenly Father. We are so grateful for all the doctors, researchers, and donators for cancer. They have kept my boy alive. Jared was so happy when he found out after two more spinal taps he shouldn’t need another one for months. We are so grateful to all of you for your love, support, and prayers. We go to the hospital Friday afternoon for a half a day. Then we don’t go again for nine days! We are so excited!!!!!

Jared was grateful to everyone in the ward he wanted to talk in church. Timing was perfect! His testimony was sweet and tender.

On Sunday, March 2, Lisa wrote on Facebook, “I am so grateful for the support and love everyone has shown towards my family and I. You guys are seriously so great! You guys are the reason Jared keeps fighting! THANK YOU!