E.R.

On Saturday, March 8, Ginger wrote on Facebook, “Hi everyone!
 Well, last weekend was

difficult! Jared had a reaction to his medication, so Saturday night we spent a couple of hours in the ER. The next night the reaction came back after Jared had his nighttime medication. He was so confused, and afraid he would never be normal again. Tuesday we were back to LDS Hospital to talk to the doctors, about medication changes. Jared had a reaction to one of his seizure medications. It is interesting how life can change so quickly. I told Jared, “You have always been so healthy and so strong. When you get healthy again, you will be so grateful!”
A couple of days ago I listened to Jared and Aaron joke and laugh, just like old times. I just wanted to close my eyes and go back in time. A time before, spinals, chemo, pills, blood clots, headaches, and leukemia. As I do each day, I had to remind myself, it’s all in God’s hands. Gaining wisdom comes with heavy price. A heavy price for eternal wisdom. Today Jared said to me what was music to my soul, “I feel almost normal." Three simple words that bring tears to my eyes! We are back on track to the three and a half year fight. We are grateful for anything positive, anything that might show recovery. Jared is feeling more improvement in his face and we so grateful.

For the next two months we will be a LDS Hospital every Monday, from 7:45 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. for chemotherapy. We will also be taught how to give Jared chemo through an IV Tuesday through Thursday at home. I must admit I am a little nervous, but it is amazing what we will do for our children. I am so grateful for each and every one of mine.

When you’re on Chemo you get what they call Chemo Brain. Chemo Brain is “changes in memory, attention, concentration, and abilities to perform various mental tasks that are associated with receiving chemotherapy treatments for cancer.”

Jared has a hard time hitting the right keys and getting his thoughts on paper. It is interesting to me cause I always have that problem and I don’t even have Chemo Brain. The blood clot caused him to have a seizure. Jared has to be on anti-seizure medication for six months, which also causes confusion. I never had Jared’s strength. He feels so weak, but he’s got more strength than I do. So I guess Jared with Chemo is kind of like me all the time.” 

Jared went to Missionary Prep. It was so hard for him to go, but he felt he needed to go. The teacher told me he really touched the young men there. One young man had been very depressed, because of health

reasons his mission was put off for three months. He told the teacher I won’t complain again. This week he talked to a class at the High School, and had a profound effect on the students. As difficult as this is to watch my son go through this trial, it is humbling to see his effect on those around him. I know that our Heavenly Father sees the whole picture. He loves us and wants us to learn what we need to return home. Believing in God, or a Higher Power helps give people the understanding and strength to face life’s challenges.

March 8

I think it easy to get so busy with life we forget how to listen to our body. They say when you

are hungry drink water first, because you are most likely thirsty. Food is mostly made up of water so we think the thirst is hunger. If you get a headache, now they say have you been drinking enough water? Drink a glass of water and see if the headache goes away. Wow, life gets so crazy we our brain doesn’t know we need a drink of water. I’ve heard people that know how to listen to their bodies understand food craving can be our body has nutritional deficiencies. Do we listen when our bodies tells us to slow down or exercise more. I keep tell Jared he’s going to have to learn to listen to his body. We all need to listen to our body. The body is so amazing if we knew how to give what it needs we could void many heath problems, but life happens. Through our daily struggles we forget to listen to our bodies to care for our self. We don’t listen for so long we can’t even understand it’s painful cry for a drink of water. In stead we reach for a pill to mask the pain of the headache, when all the body needs is a drink. I keep telling Jared you need to listen to your body.

That’s why when Jared craves certain foods, I’m willing to make it, or go get it. Because with the chemo, I say he’s like a prevent woman. I thought of some foods make him sick, while he craves others. I believe if he craves it or it sounds good, he’s more likely to keep it down. I tell him when your body tells you to rest, you need to rest. This is torcher for Jared that he for he got sick had never ending energy. When he climbed Temp, they said he was like a mountain goat. He said it was easy. When he has a good day it so hard because his body maybe yelling so down, but he wants to go like he did before. The difficult part comes when not only does his body get really tired he gets sick. Jared tells me I know my body better than the doctors. I know what I can do. I tell him, I know that was true before you got leukemia, but now the doctors know more. His strong will is one of his greatest assets, and one of his greatest shortcomings. I mean some times the only way I could get this kid to rest is with duck tape and handcuffs. I funny part I get upset with him for not listening to his body, and I don’t listen to mine. He most likely learned that from me! Children watch our every move, every word, and every attitude. We think they aren’t listening or watching, but in reality they are like big brother! Now as my last of six children is nineteen, I understand this more each day. How many times do we really stop and think before we do something. Are we aware little eyes are on us, and little ears are listening. How many times do we say to ourselves, how would I want my child to handle this situation? When we choose whom we marry and are going to make babies with; do we ask, “Do I want my children to be like this person?”

On Saturday, March 8, Kristina wrote on Facebook, 

"CANCER HATER(s). It's a good thing to hate. When we saw these shirts & the benefit they were for, we couldn't pass them up. Love you Jared!! Keep fighting buddy!"

On Sunday, March 9, Ginger wrote on Facebook, “Last night we were back in the American Fork ER. Jared nose was bleeding profusely. We call LDS Leukemia Center to see what we should do. We were told to get in the car and head to LDS Hospital, and they would call if we could go to the American Fork ER in stead. We knew if we went to LDS we might be there overnight. Jared turns to Aaron and said, “You don’t have to go”. Aaron responded, “I want to go”. As Jared lay there in pain, Aaron held his hand. (We are so grateful to have Aaron home.) The look on Aaron’s face cried out what I felt too. I tried to wipe the blood from Jared’s face and hands. However it was such a helpless feeling to not be able to do more.

Things that were once simple are now complicated. When you had a headache you drank a glass of water, or took a Tylenol. Now it could be a blood clot in your brain. In fact swelling on your arms and legs can mean a blood clot. A nosebleed once meant holding a tissue to your nose, and pinching the bridge of your nose until it stopped. Now it means calling the Leukemia Center to let them know. Racing to the nearest ER; having more blood tests. Shoving and four-inch device up your nose. Which they then inflate until it shoots pain through your head; pain that almost is as intense as a spinal tap. Not taking the shot you give yourself in the stomach the next morning. Then waiting by the phone until the doctors at the Leukemia Center can review your records to figure out how to balance your blood, because you have a blood clot in your brain.next six months are going to be like?” I was so relieved when she assured me and explained that it is this way at first while they adjusted medications and procedures.

 

His was little more difficult because of the blood clot. However she said things will calm down and we will settle into a routine.

After the complications we view everyday life differently. If things were always simple how much would we learn? Would we fall on bended knees searching for answers? After each storm would we look at the clear blue sky with a grateful heart? Would we stop to smell the roses? Would we be as grateful when we watch our son jump and throw a ball into the basket? Would we appreciate a simple smile more? Would be likely to be grateful for all we have, instead unhappy because of what we don’t have?

Often life’s greatest lessons have the biggest price tag. The complication is temporary, but what we learn stays forever. Please keep the prayers coming! We love you all!”

On Sunday, March 9, Ginger wrote on Facebook, “I think it would be so wonderful when Jared is normal again! Angelin Farr told me that normal is just a setting on her washing machine. Which got me thinking, Jared has never been normal. He is more like some kind of amazing, like his energy level! It’s just the amazing keeps changing, evolving to something amazing in a different way! I think that's true with all of us. It's just a question of what kind of amazing are we willing to be? A big thanks you to all of you that have been amazing to us with your generous hearts! We love you all!”