Brothers

I really think Aaron and Jared were best friends before this life. To understand how close there are, I will share their story. We had adopted the girl from Romania, which is a story for another time. I was grateful we had been so blessed. People would ask if we were going to adopt again. I would always say we were so blessed, I would never dare ask for more. The adopt affected us enough, we had to sell our home. I knew there were two brothers other there waiting for me to find them. I didn’t dare tell Chuck, we had lost so much. However as time pasted I thought about them all the time. I finally approached Chuck, telling him I felt we had a little boy out there we needed to find. He was so angry at me.

                                                                                  I couldn’t stop thinking about them. I tried! We were living in my mother’s basement, while we build I home. One night I had a dream, it wasn’t a everyday dream. In the dream I was in labor. Chuck was so busy paying bills, he couldn’t take me to the hospital. His mother was there. She wanted to help, but didn’t know what to do. I had to deliver to baby all by myself. When I held him up he was brown. As time went by, I knew I promised that him that I would come and find him. I could even hear the words in my mind. 

I felt that we had been very close before this life. I had been there when he found out about his life. I promised him, “No matter where you go I’ll find you.” I felt that he had been very close to his brother, and he promised he could come with us. I know it all sounds crazy, but I knew it in my heart. I know people thought I was crazy. However I knew I had to find 2 little brown brothers. I knew the older boy would be just under two, and his brother would be very young. It was so difficult. I knew I wasn’t in a happy marriage, but I was determind to stay. I have looked back and asked myself why? Why did I adopt four children, when it was a difficult marriage.

I look at the story of Nephi going back to get the brass plates. He didn’t question his father. He knew his Heavenly Father wanted him to go get the brass plates, and he would prepare a way. Looking back he could have questioned if he was truly inspired, but he didn’t. He did what his Heavenly Father asked him to do.

Other may ask Nephi why, but he knew why. It was summed up in one scripture, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them”.( 1 Nephi 3:7) This was my answer. It did matter what anyone thought, only what my Father asked me to do. If I followed his will, he would prepare a way. I never promised it would be easy. My greatest treasures were my children.

 I don’t know why I was so bless to be called to be their mother. Back to the story. Chuck finely agreed to move forward with the adoption. I won’t go into how many avenues I went down, there were many. I worked on Fernando for over a year. I spent three weeks in Sibera during December helping with another adoption, because I was promised I would be helped with my adoption. Everything I tried for three years fell apart.  It got to the point I cried everyday. I knew he was out there, but I didn’t know where. I didn’t know if he was cold or hungry. 

I just knew I promised, “No matter where you A friend called and said there was a little five week old baby boy, was I interested. I was soon on the phone talking to the birth mom. It all happen so fast. It felt good, but where was the little boy I made the promise to. There was a woman coming from Samoa, that had agreed to bring Jared to L.A. California on Monday. Two days after I talked to the birth mom I found out Jared had a twenty month old brother. I couldn’t believe it, and she said I could have both of the boys. I remember being so excited.  

The next day she changed her mind. I told her it was O.K.. I knew I had to have faith. It was so amazing! After waiting, and so many disapointments, I found one of my sons. I waited as each person came off the plane, and there he was. As she handled Jared to me, she said he needs to be changed. He was crying. He had a bleeding diaper rash. I changed him, and held him close. That night when we finally got home, and phone rang. The birthmother said that her older boy was upset the baby was gone. All day he asked about the baby. She told me to come and get him. Chuck was so worried about money, he wasn’t going to come with me to Samoa. I would have to go alone. It was just like my dream. We didn’t have the money to buy my ticket. I remembered in the dream Chuck’s mother wanted to help, but didn’t know what to do. Chuck asked her if she would buy my ticket. The dream finally made sence. It was difficult to leave my new baby. He was so cute. He’s hair was so long, I had to give him a full hair cut. I left Jared with Catherine. It was a difficult week in Samoa, I was sure if I was going to get him until I plane took off, and he was in my arms. After three years of searching I had my boys. I cried for joy! 

After I got off the plane I sat Aaron down. Jared was in an infaseat on the ground. When Aaron saw his little brother he ran over, and started kissing him. All we could do is cry. The brothers were together again. They were best friends growing up. I would wonder why they didn’t have more friends over. Then I would realized they were each other best friends. If you ever asked they would tell you.

I was so grateful when it was finally time for our appointment. Those two days seemed like forever! When I tried to get Jared to get up so we could go, he told me no. He said he was in to much pain to go. I pleaded, I cried. He got angry and told me to call and tell them he was too sick. “I will dial the number, but you will talk to them.” They convinced Jared they had to see him. When we got there they took him in to get his vitals, he told the nurse about the seizure and the headaches. He said she was very upset that I was not told to bring him to LDS Hospital. 

We went into a room where we sat around a table. One of the main Doctors and our co ordinate came in and sat at the table with us. They were going to explain what was going to happen the next two months. Jared started to tell the doctor about his headaches and the seizure. The doctor told me later as he watched Jared he could tell there was a serious problem. The conversation changed to getting an MRI and having the Neurologist come and see him. As we were walking down to get the MRI, Jared said, ”I know they are going to find something really bad”. I tried to reassure him that it would be O.K. I was really trying to convince myself. We went back upstairs and waited in an examine room. 

A couple of doctors came in and told us, Jared had a sever blood clot on his brain. He would be admitted back in the hospital. They were hopeful that with blood thinners they could eliminate the blood clot in four to six weeks. The hospital stay was to watch him closely, and to control the pain.

On Thursday, February 20, Jared wrote on Facebook, “Like my mom said when it rains it pours.. My MRI scan came back and I have a ‘Blood Clot’ in my brain.. I'm being admitted into LDS Hospital today till I don't know when”.

On Thursday, February 20, Ginger wrote on Facebook, “I wanted to give everyone an update on Jared. Jared and I are back at LDS Hospital. He has a blood clot in his brain. He is alert and responsive, the doctors think they can get rid of the clot with blood thinners. Tonight, we are requesting no visitors, because Jared is so busy with tests. Please keep sending your positive thoughts and prayers. I will send a new update soon.”

On Friday, February 21, Jared wrote on Facebook, “A few months ago I would have never guessed I'd be where I am today fighting for my life. Makes me look back at all the things I've taken for granted. I'm not perfect I'll never be but I promise I'll be the best I can be”. 

On Friday, February 21, Ginger wrote on Facebook, “Thank you! We are very touched by the out pouring of love and support. Two days ago as I sat on the couchwatching Jared sleep, I was so worried about his headache and the seizure. Then Dan told me the heater wouldn't turn on. It was one of those days when you're tired of being strong. I didn't want to share bad news in an update, but, I told myself, this is today's update. So many people responded! Thank you for lifting my burden so I could be strong for Jared. Our new heater, with a filter, will be put in Saturday. Nick said it was a blessing it shut down, or we most likely would have lost our home. 

Also, it has been sending out bad fumes. After Nick gave Jared a blessing, I thanked him and told him, "it's hard to ask for help." Nick said, "that's why you don't have to ask." The doctors said Jared is getting several kinds of chemo. One of them is causing the problems. They have made changes. Chemo is being continued without delay! It will take 4-6 weeks on blood thinners to eliminate the blood clot. We are also here to find medication to manage the pain of the headaches. These are the most painful headaches you can have. If all goes well, we'll be home on Monday. ***Best news for last. Aaron will be home early!! Midnight tonight. Jared needs his brother!***

On Saturday, February 22, Nick wrote on Facebook, “As you can see by the looks of the old furnace it was well needed! There must've been high levels of carbon monoxide in the home after investigating. worst furnace that I've ever seen and it wasn't that old. But thank you to everybody who helped make it possible to get the Larson/Hawk family taking care of. They can now enjoy a 96 percent efficient furnace ,new carbon monoxide detectors throughout the home and a UV light to kill airborne bacteria.
Along with all of the money raised on the site! Love you Jared Larsen, Ginger Hawks, Kristina Larsen, Lisa Larsen, and family

Life is so surprising! When I realized we needed a new heater, all I could think is what’s next! Dan said he’d take care of it not to worry. I knew it meant he’d borrow the money. I also knew I couldn’t let myself think about it. All my energy went into being strong for Jared, for my children, for very one that cared about Jared. I couldn’t let myself feel sorry for me. Then I was told the amazing Nick was coming to our rescue. Nick got a good deal on the heater, and now he was raising the money to pay for it.  Then Nick would install the heater. It was so amazing to watch a challenge turned into a blessing. It happened because of selfless people. Nick thanked us for letting him be a part of the experience of helping us get a heater. He told us we were loved in this ward. A miracle of Christ like love.

They say blood clots headaches are the most painful.I believe it! As soon as they left the room I called Dan and said, hurry and call the Red Cross. I explained that Jared was back in the hospital, and it was serious. We were put on the other side of the eight floor. Soon the Neurologist came to talk to Jared. I told her we were trying to get Jared’s brother home one week early from the National Guard training. We were all very concerned about how depressed Jared was. No one had seen Jared this way before. As she was talking the hospital phone rang. I picked it up it was the Red Cross. I asked the Neurologist if she could verify to the Red Cross Jared’s condition. She talked to them and also gave them another doctors name. 

By that night Red Cross called Aarons Unit. The Neurologist ordered an EEG to see his brain waves. When the tech came in, she put wires all over his head. I wish I had gotten picture, but I guess we were to worried Jared blood clot. The EEG looked good! So they said the seizer must have been caused from the brain clot. Of course Kathryn, Kristina’s BBF, was there to be with Jared for Kristina. We had decided shortly after we met Kathryn she needed to be part of our family. I best way to do that was for her to marry one of my boys. Whenever Kathryn was coming we’d call her Jared’s fiancée. The problem is Jared was five years younger than Kathryn. It was a joke but we had fun with it. The next morning Aaron was told he was coming home that day. Jared was not his positive self. It was difficult because Jared wanted to quit. He didn’t feel like he could go on. 

He even asked the nurse to have the doctor come back so he could stop the Chemo treatments. 

I told the nurse not to have the doctor come back. For the first time he took his anger out on me. I was devastated! He told me I had no idea what he was going through. I told him he couldn’t understand what I was going through until he had a child of his own. I told him that the first time his child was sick and throwing up, he would finally understand how I felt. I walked out of his room, and went and sat in the hall. I was so hurt! I remembered when I was expecting my first child we went to child birthing classes. Our teacher was amazing. I remember when  she told us about transition, and most difficult part of labor. She said many women would get very angry at their husbands. Tell them all of this was there fault, and they could never touch them again. I remembered how she told us it was the pain and fear talking. A had to realize he didn’t mean what he was saying. He was in pain and afraid. He even thought he was dying. It was hard but had to look past his words, and understand what he was feeling. He knew even if he got mad at me, I would always be there for him.

I was safe. Sometimes when a love one is in pain or afraid we have to look past what is said and understand. I wanted to go home, and eat chocolate strawberries. However I knew I had to be there for him, he could not walk this path alone. I was so grateful Aaron was coming home that night, and could help me. Later he told me how sorry he was. I found out one of his nausea medications would help with anxiety. So I just made sure Jared agreed to take his nausea medication. We were so excited to have Aaron coming home. He’s flight would be there at 12 o’clock mid night.

Kathryn came to wait with us. Kathryn sat on the side of his bed and had Jared laughing.

Kathryn & Jared

Jared was in so much pain, but kept teasing her saying, “I don’t understand why aren’t we married already?” Kathryn got Kristina on Facetime. He was hilarious!!! And a little innocently inappropriate. We told Kristina, put your earphone on so your roommates wouldn’t hear us. He had us laughing so hard I was concerned the nurse would come and tell us to be quiet.

It felt so good we needed to laugh! Silly humor can sometimes make life so much easier. We love his kid, and his amazing sense of humor. Laugh can be the best medicine.

Kathryn & Jared

Jared had been so concerned he would never see his brother again. Now it seemed like the night would never end. Jared was in so much pain. Aaron finally came walking in the room in full uniform dress. The brothers were together again.

On Sunday, February 23, Kristina wrote on Facebook, “Aaron is finallllllllly HOME (okaaaay, he's at the hospital, but hey, that's where our second home seems to be these days). We are all so happy he's finally there with his brother! It's a good day when your best friend and blood brother comes home to your rescue. Love these two so much!!"

On Monday, February 24, Jared wrote on Facebook, “I have Stage 4 Leukemia & A Blood Clot In My Brain and I LOVE LIFE. All my trust is in The Lord”.