Finally Home

On Sunday, February 11, Ginger wrote on Facebook:

 I’m so sorry I haven’t sent out an update since we got home. My Asthma has had me flat in bed. I am feeling better though. When we got home the Leukemia became a reality. The reality of a three and a half year fight is a little overwhelming. Several of you have asked what that means. They gave me a copy of the plan, but I need to go to medical school to understand it. Every time Jared goes in for a test, everything could change depending on the results. We will be at the hospital at least once a week for the first two months. For the third and fourth month we will be going to

LDS Hospital every two weeks for three to five days at a time. After that we will be at the hospital at least once a week for two more months. The last three years, life will be almost normal. He’ll still have treatments and tests. It's a good thing we don't live far from Salt Lake, because we're going to be there a lot. After three years, life goes back to normal if tests stay good and clear. That makes a two year mission not sound very long. It’s a little overwhelming, but we are grateful he’s alive. We are extremely grateful that the overall recovery rate is now 95%. Now more than ever, support is wonderful. He loves visitors, and texts.

Now that Jared was home, it was so difficult. He decided he wasn’t going to let cancer hold him back. Which can be good, but you must have balance. He didn’t want to do everything the doctors said. Jared would say, “I know my body better than anyone! I know what my limits are!” I told him, “I know that’s true when your healthy, but the doctors know your body better when you have

leukemia. They know how to beat this, you only know your body healthy.” He didn’t take all his medication. I found out that most cancer patients, at some point, have a difficult time taking all those pills. Before he could always get better without taking a bunch of pills. He would stay up late. Sometimes he and his friends would go to the canyon. One time his friends wanted to know how frozen was the lake, so they sent Jared out on the ice to see. Good idea, the one send the one with leukemia. He hated being at home.  He said our house smelled funny and made him sick. I seemed funny because he and his friends over the couple

of years, always would hang out at our house. Now Jared would hardly come home. It seemed like I was getting sicker. I had not had Asthma for years. I could usually go to bed and get over it. I thought it was getting better, but it was difficult to climb the stairs. It seemed like all I wanted to do was stare at the wall. I had been gone from home for three weeks, I need to get things done. Those around me thought I was just emotionally spent. 

On Tuesday, February 18, Jared wrote on Facebook, “Had my first seizure today. Passed out for 3 hours. I also have a migraine. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.”

We were told to call the Leukemia Unit if anything changed. I told the nurse he was having horrible headaches. While I was explaining his condition, I was asking him questions. Jared told me he had a seizure. I told the nurse she should talk to him, because he had not told me about the seizure. She told me to watch him close until our next appointment in two days. Jared didn’t want to be left alone. He was so scared he might have another seizure. He made me promise I wouldn’t leave him. We slept in the family room on the couches.

On Wednesday, February 19, Ginger wrote on Facebook:

Well, when it rains it pours. Jared’s tests have continued to stay good, and we are extremely grateful for that. However, Jared has really started to feel the effects of chemo. He’s had terrible headaches and nausea, and yesterday he had a seizure while at home and then blacked out. We are still at home, just watching him very closely. It's hard to watch Jared, my never sick child, be so sick on a daily basis. He finally is willing to take as needed medication. Although even with the medication his headaches continue. Jared is finally realizing he must slow down. Tomorrow we find out what to expect for the next two months. The doctor said it all depends on the bone biopsy and the spinal tap from last Friday. Then he added, “But of course his tests are always good.” To add to the fun, our heater went out last night. Talk about bad timing to have to buy a new heater! Hope the plug-in heater and the great blankets he’s received will keep him toasty. We may be staying with a friend for a couple of days, because all we need is to get sick again. Visitors are still welcome and wanted! We are still needing prayers, and appreciate the many that have been given in Jared’s and our family’s name. All our love.

The headaches got worse, and were so difficult to bear. I couldn’t imagine how bad they must be. I had watched he go through so many painful test and chemo. However this pain was different, it brought him to his knees. He wanted to give up. It was more than he could bare. Our house was cold, but Jared didn’t want to go to Catherine’s house he wanted to stay home. Nick ,our wonderful friend, came over and looked to see if he could get the heater going again. He said he didn’t dare. The part that turns off the heater when it get to hot wasn’t working. He was shocked our house had not burned down. Jared now begged to have Aaron come home. He didn’t think he would see Kristina again. Aaron said he was done with he classes, and had taken his last test early. It was only a week early, but Jared didn’t think he would live that long. Jared had dream that he died after surgery, holding Aaron’s hand. Dan called the Red Cross and asked if they could help. They said they could only help if Jared was in the hospital. Jared and Aaron were so close, they always had been best friends. Now all Jared wanted was his brother, and we couldn’t do anything.