Grateful To Be Alive

On Friday, January 24, Jared wrote on Facebook, “this past week I've learned to appreciate life so much and not to take anything for granted because at any second life can change forever. I've been tested to my limits but that doesn't mean I give up, it means I push forward even more then before because I want to succeed as bad as I want to breathe. I'm hurt but I'm still alive. I'm in pain but I know that someone somewhere else has it worse then me. Everyday it's a challenge and I accept it with open arms EVERY morning. If there's something I could teach you so far it's: Don't Complain, Be Positive On Life, And Be Grateful For EVERYTHING You Have."
         Ginger        Sherri        Mark

Jared is a teenage boy that just found out his whole life has to change. Every time Jared would ask me, “Mom does this mean I can’t go on a mission?”, it broke my heart. I’d tell him, “It just means your mission has changed, I think it’s started now. I believe you will touch many lives.” 
Jared’s hospital room became our sanctuary. It was a special place, which felt like part ofheaven was there. We felt we had help from both sides of the veil. I wondered if my mother was there? When she passed away I spoke at her funeral. I talked about how difficult it was when I went to through my first divorce. I had  to call and tell my parents I was getting a divorce. They were staying at their ranch in Southern Utah. Their home in Southern California was only ten minutes away from me. When I called, I found out they had been fighting a fire on the ranch that was now under control.

I knew they were getting ready for a big barbeque at the ranch. I told them I would be fine; which was not quite true. I had two babies, and a temple marriage. I found explicit letters from  women talking about their love affairs with my husband. I hadn’t been able to eat for a week.

                                                                                                  
My Mother and Father.

I was breastfeeding my baby, but I couldn’t eat. One night I thought, I must make myself eat. I

bought a hamburger. I took one bite and got sick. I couldn’t sleep. I had found the letters while he was out of town. I finally figured out how to call him. I told him to come home, so we could figure out what to do. He was going to come home in a couple of days. The morning after I called my parents, there was a knock at my door. I looked out the peep hole there was the most beautiful sight in the world. My parents were standing there covered in soot from the fire. My mother was holding sunflowers in her hand, because they were my favorite. The flowers had gone without water, so they drooped over her hand. I threw open the door sobbing. They stayed with me that night so I wouldn’t be alone. Twenty-five years later I was going through an even more difficult temple divorce.

My mother had a stroke four years before, and didn’t even know me. After I told the story at her funeral, I said I needed Her. I said that now I felt she could be there to help me. A month later I had a dream. There was a beautiful young woman in front of me. I knew she was from the other side of the viel, but I didn’t recognize her. I said, “Who are you?” She smiled at me and said, “I had to die before I could come and help you”.                                                         

Grandma Lewis  (My Mom)

                                                                     
As I lay there in Jared room where the spirit was so strong, I was sure mama would be there. She loved her grandchildren. Even though she didn’t really know Jared before she died, I knew she knew him and loved him now. I’m sure she was there comforting us. I’m sure she didn’t have the drooping sunflowers, but I knew of her love for us us. We were not alone.

On Saturday the Teachers quorum came to visit. It was humbling to hear my son tell these young men what he had learned from this experience. A couple of years before, the Young Men in the Ward climbed Mt. Timpanogos. Jared with his never-ending strength climbed it easily. He was the first one up, and the first one down. At the next testimony meeting many testimonies were shared about the experience, and how difficult it was. However there were several comments about how Jared was like a mountain goat that made the climb with ease. These same boys now watched Jared fighting for his life. There no was anger, or a comment about how unfair life is. He was amazing.

That night one of the leaders, Nick Ivins posted, “Learning how to be a "fighter" from Jared Larsen Teachers quorum had the opportunity to visit with Jared today. He is such an incredible person and a powerful example of being positive, confident, and yet humble. Loved hearing his testimony of Jesus Christ. Thanks Jared.” One of the men, Talin Jared Everett posted this comment, “I got a chance to visit Jared in the hospital today, and it is so crazy that one person who is going through so much have so much faith. I have never felt the spirit so strongly in my whole life. He has taught me a lesson that will forever change my life and I've heard this very many times but his spirit finally got the point across, to be strong no matter what. #1 Fighter”

It's Sunday, January 26, and I just have to say that my son Jared Larsen is my hero and my inspiration. Friday, Jared had his third spinal tap. He listens to positive tapes and says he doesn’t feel it. He never complains,

and he’s so grateful for everything. He is so kind and gracious to everyone here at LDS Hospital (even the cute little lady that cleans his room). The spinal tap showed more improvement. It has gone from 89% to 26% Leukemia cells in his spinal fluid. White blood count is down to normal. He is still responding to the Chemotherapy amazingly well. Today he spent 4 hours NOT hooked up to the IV. The doctor says he’s doing great! Last night he walked a mile and a half.

Kristina   Catherine   Lisa

As I watch Jared, I was reminded of my car accident 11 years ago. The doctors told me it would take about a year to recover from the entire trauma to my body. It took six months. I remember coming home. I had only spent four days in the hospital, and a week at Catherine’s house. I slept sitting up four six months because of the pain. Realizing it would take months to recover, I was terrified. I was a single mother with four children, between the ages of 8 to 12. My business was failing. I had no idea how I was going to provide for them. I knew I would have to refinance my house just to take care of my children. I realized if I let the fear take over, I would not recover as well. I knew I had four young children watching me. How I chose to handle this would most likely be how they would handle life’s challenges. I decided I would handle this the same way I would want them to. They never saw me depressed, upset, or angry. I tried to move forward with faith. I went and found the people that saved my life. 

I dropped off thank you notes with chocolate hugs and kisses. On the way to visit the

paramedics, I asked a woman how to get there; I was walking from the police station. Interestingly enough, she wrote for a small local newspaper. Her son-in-law was a paramedic. She said, “Can I please come with you? I would like to write a story about you thanking them. Hardly anyone ever comes back to thank them.” The woman at the police station had called and told them I was coming. They were so excited. Because of the privacy laws they didn’t know what happened to me. They thought I died. They were so happy to know how well I was doing.  Catherine told me at the hospital, I never got upset or angry. Every time someone came in I thanked him or her, even if the procedures they  did caused pain. Now I watched my son. This was the pay off. My son was grateful, and positive with everyone. I realized I had prepared my whole family with how I handled my accident eleven years earlier. I wondered in a life before this, did I see enough to know if I were in an accident it would prepare my children for this? I wondered, did Jared, in a life before this, ask to have cancer so none of us would?

Friday night he got his glasses, so he could see! His friend Jayde, and other friends contributed to buy him glasses. He was so excited to see again. He had been wearing contacts the last couple of years. Now he couldn’t wear them while he was getting chemo. The chemo dried out his eyes. The contacts could dry on his eyes causing permanent damage. Jared’s was even more serous, because he couldn't  close his eyes all the way, because of the paralysis. On Sunday, two missionary couples came to serve us the Sacrament. It was an amazing experience! Wow! Life is good. Jared was so worried about putting me through this. That’s not what it is like. I am so blessed to travel this journey with him. I am a better person everyday. We are so thankful to everyone that came to see or sent uplifting thoughts to Jared. We felt it helped as much as the Chemotherapy. In fact, even more.

On Tuesday, January 28, Jared wrote on Facebook:

The one thing I haven't done through this whole situation is: "Limit Myself" Doctors told me you won't be able to run/jog for awhile due to your weak bones. I do sprints in the halls. Doctors told me you'll be hospitalized 5-6 weeks. I told them since day 1 I'm out of here in 3 weeks. Doctors told me to lower my goals and that I'd be depressed or disappointed when I don't reach them. Don't EVER let someone tell you, you can't do something. YOU determine the outcome of life. "Dream Like You'll Live Forever, Live Like You'll Die Tomorrow"

January 29 Tomorrow is Jared’s 19th Birthday!

He did ask for a couple of things, however, when I asked, "What else do you want?" All he says is, “I am so blessed, I don’t need anything else.”

Today the doctor said, “You’re doing so great would you like to leave for a short pass (less than an hour)." Jared said, “No. I like it here, everyone has been so great." I am humbled by his grateful attitude.

His friend that’s going to the MTC, stopped by with his family. Jared told them all how grateful he is and how much he has learned from this experience. It was a joyous visit. Jared is so excited for his friend going to Samoa. There was no sign of disappointment or anger. His friend said how much he has learned from Jared. He expressed a desire that Jared could get better and be his missionary companion. I told him to take everything he’s learned from Jared and remember it, so in that sense--Jared will be on his mission with him. Later as I sat in the hall I thought, “This is so unfair! Jared should be getting ready for a mission. He should be able to smile!”. The tears streamed down my face. Then a voice whispered to me, “today be grateful he’s alive!” I looked at up and there was a calendar. I realized just two weeks earlier he had be told he would only have had two weeks to live without treatments. I realized the fact that he couldn’t smile is why they did the biopsy right then. Losing his smile saved his life.

When we talked with the doctor, everything was good. She said he is doing so well, he couldn't be doing better. She talked like she thought he would be coming home on February 7th. Just like Jared said three weeks and one day from the day we got there. Jared loves these people at LDS, but he can't wait to go home.